last day of 2009...

well, its the 31st of December, the last day for 2009..how time flies. tomorrow it will be all 2010. not sure the new year is the time for celebration..as for me, its the time for us to reflect what's going on along the year so far. honestly, life is a mystery as we cannot predict what is going to happen in the year 2010..overall, i hope next year will be better than this year..and give more strength for me to go on with life..

along 2009, there are some bumpy rides that surely made my life utterly miserable. clearly i can conclude that 2009 has more downs than ups..but one thing for sure is..I'm still alive and breathing..ALhamdulillah..

well..here are the summary of events for me in the year 2009..

positive

+ i'm a married woman :) to someone that i really2 love..
+ i'm still alive..
+ my husband's promotion
+ hm..what else ek..

negative
too many too write..huhu
-A
-B
-C
-D
-E
-F
-G

all i can say is i want my life back..

i'm a bit sad that my 2009 resolution did not come true..maybe its not my time yet..

hopefully 2010 will be better for me. pray for me ya.

happy 2010...

The winner takes it all..

A meaningful song...

I don't wanna talk
About the things we've gone through
Though it's hurting me
Now it's history
I've played all my cards
And that's what you've done too
Nothing more to say
No more ace to play

The winner takes it all
The loser standing small
Beside the victory
That's her destiny

I was in your arms
Thinking I belonged there
I figured it made sense
Building me a fence
Building me a home
Thinking I'd be strong there
But I was a fool
Playing by the rules

The gods may throw a dice
Their minds as cold as ice
And someone way down here
Loses someone dear
The winner takes it all
The loser has to fall
It's simple and it's plain
Why should I complain.

But tell me does she kiss
Like I used to kiss you?
Does it feel the same
When she calls your name?
Somewhere deep inside
You must know I miss you
But what can I say
Rules must be obeyed

The judges will decide
The likes of me abide
Spectators of the show
Always staying low
The game is on again
A lover or a friend
A big thing or a small
The winner takes it all

I don't wanna talk
If it makes you feel sad
And I understand
You've come to shake my hand
I apologize
If it makes you feel bad
Seeing me so tense
No self-confidence
But you see
The winner takes it all..

p/s- when can i feel like a winner..hu..

quote of the day..

todays quote is..

To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world..

nice :)

medically speaking..

Yesterday i'd went for my medical checkup, and honestly, i have this kinda phobia which sets my brain to: i hate doctors, hospitals, nurses..no kidding!

It was also the first time that i've done my checkup in a government hospital as before this, reaching private clinics was easier. to be honest the experience wasn't that bad as i've expected..but it takes LONG time for the results..and i had to go there again tomorrow and next week (bad enough,huhu). the best part is i treated myself with oreo cheesecake from secret recipe..courtesy of my hubby. probably because i did not cry myself at the clinic (haha)..tp one slice is not enough la bang *wink2* ;)

whoever invented oreo deserves an award :)

Currently my hubby is very2 busy..leaving me alone for kursus all the time..huhu..so i've more time to spend with my cats, my books and the internet. but i'm still feeling lonely.mybe i should buy some cds or s'thing..

Decisions..decisions...

i haven't been writing for awhile now..been busy with life as usual..

I'd posted a quote regarding on chances that we have in life..and true to its word, i had another chance to explore knowledge. the offer was a surprise as i had forgotten all about it. thinking about it makes me feel scared and nervous once more, just like i had felt before this.. i had failed a couple times, falling sick and wasting lots of money- although i'm not the one who wants to be in this position..

I still have a week to think about it, and it kinda tough coz it involves PJJ..perkahwinan jarak jauh. seriously, i cannot imagine living alone..etc.however..all this is for our future. making sacrifices. have to do it to achieve a better life for our upcoming family..i'm still caught in the middle..is it all worth it? what if history repeats itself? to be honest, i'm scared..

Getting full support from him helps a lot as well..it seems that my husband didn't want me to put my 'grey cells'(as sherlock holmes put it) to waste, i guess. this is a hard decision and it involves high risk as well..huh..just like going to the war zone..

come to think of it, even though i had done many things to try and change my life, i still get that kind of offer everytime i try and everywhere i go. i always though that 'blum rezeki', or i'm unlucky, or i'm just not good enough. however, maybe i should start to think that maybe,just maybe, it is my destiny to do it..

what should i do, mon ami?

p/s..haven't give up yet. still hoping for a miracle. third time lucky, perhaps..