words from my heart...

As I am writing this posts, many things keep coming and passing through my mind. I'm not sure how to describe it, excited, scared..i cannot be certain. All i know that my life will be changing soon. Soon enough. I must admit that although i had been waiting for this moment all my life, it does felt a little bit strange..as if all the things that happened went by so soon..

Two weeks from now i'll be in Putrajaya, starting a new job and practically changing my lifestyle. They'll be no more near by beaches and keropok lekor for me to stroll and chew, instead there will be cinemas and vinccis'. Its not exactly new to me as i'm a city girl myself, but i does feels weird to do it all alone.

I'm worrying about my lodgings there to be fact. Let's face it, i'd never ever thought that i'll work there and I cannot imagine what its like. so i'm hoping that my friends there can help me somehow..and as usual, starting somewhere means using a lot of money..hopefully it'll be enough.

I have to let this heavy heart of mine to say goodbye to the people i care about and friends that i could share anything with. Its only three months since i've been here but it feels like i've known everybody for a long time. And its sad that i cannot follow the last trip with students and friends since i have to save up (and mean it) and cannot fulfill shida wishes..even though papa wanted to help, i just felt that i wasn't suitable as there are other hearts that i should care about..wish i can just satisfy everyone, but i can't..

The most hard part of all this is being apart from my beloved hubby..i cannot imagine how. I know that he's excited for me and he had been there for me from the beginning until now. I'm not sure to leave him behind but we are doing all this for our future, and this is the best way. I hope we will not be apart for long as he will continue his studies nearby (insya Allah). So for now, I would give him special treatments, cook everyday and all that as we will be far from each other for quite sometime..I just hope i would not fail this time.

To be honest, i never imagine myself to achieve this job in my life, but i believe ALLAH knows best. Hopefully every tear I shed after this will be the tears of happiness..and i just hope everyone will stand beside me no matter what happened.. and may my family receive me as what i am..