19 December 2009

Decisions..decisions...

i haven't been writing for awhile now..been busy with life as usual..

I'd posted a quote regarding on chances that we have in life..and true to its word, i had another chance to explore knowledge. the offer was a surprise as i had forgotten all about it. thinking about it makes me feel scared and nervous once more, just like i had felt before this.. i had failed a couple times, falling sick and wasting lots of money- although i'm not the one who wants to be in this position..

I still have a week to think about it, and it kinda tough coz it involves PJJ..perkahwinan jarak jauh. seriously, i cannot imagine living alone..etc.however..all this is for our future. making sacrifices. have to do it to achieve a better life for our upcoming family..i'm still caught in the middle..is it all worth it? what if history repeats itself? to be honest, i'm scared..

Getting full support from him helps a lot as well..it seems that my husband didn't want me to put my 'grey cells'(as sherlock holmes put it) to waste, i guess. this is a hard decision and it involves high risk as well..huh..just like going to the war zone..

come to think of it, even though i had done many things to try and change my life, i still get that kind of offer everytime i try and everywhere i go. i always though that 'blum rezeki', or i'm unlucky, or i'm just not good enough. however, maybe i should start to think that maybe,just maybe, it is my destiny to do it..

what should i do, mon ami?

p/s..haven't give up yet. still hoping for a miracle. third time lucky, perhaps..

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